A Christmas Email: Thoughts on Friendship

Some people send out Christmas cards. I send out Christmas emails.

Tacky, I know. I just wasn't on the ball this year.

Let me preface by saying that this has been a year of difficulty in friendship. Colossians 3:12-14 has been heavy on my heart:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Even if I am faced with a friendship that might not survive a trial of fire, the weight of this scripture is on me. Yes, me -- not just the other person. Sometimes it's easy to pass the blame or hold bitterness in your heart when you feel as though you've been wounded. At least it is for me. But I am called to forgive and put on love. And if you are in Christ, you are too. Every time, no matter what.

Today I sent out a Christmas email to a dear friend. These are some of my thoughts for her today:

You are right that we've grown apart, and it has been difficult. Could it have been another way? I don't know.

You said in a past email to me that our relationship has been "complicated by zip codes, husbands, and history." I thought that was a really wise statement. We have had some hard times. Times I wish I could do differently, or even erase all together. But ultimately, I think our friendship is more valuable because of it. I hope you do, too.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed at how "messy" life is. I am deeply thankful for it -- to live life in a messy, complicated world... because so much of the time, it's beautiful because of the very things that make it hard. Kind of like us. I have enough friends with great, happy histories, and little to taint the overall picture of the friendship. But with you, we've worked for what we have. We've hurt and forgiven; been wounded and healed. It's a layered picture with a depth of emotion that makes me deeply grateful.

You know who you are. I love you!