Bizarre English Metaphors (and Similes... and Analogies)

I know, I know -- I'm referencing other blogs/websites all over the place. But according to the Internet Monk, that's a good thing; in fact, that's probably why you're reading my blog in the first place! (See #4 on the link above.)

Seriously -- you have to check this site out. "Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies, similies, and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country."

I promise you'll laugh out loud.

Here are a few of my favorites:

*Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

*The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

*John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

*The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

*He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.