Don't Blame the Feminists

Whether it's about abortion, homosexuality, politics, or even gender roles, the church continues to find herself in the midst of heated war against liberalism. Yes, I fight on the conservative (read: Biblical) side. But I found this interesting quote about feminism this morning while checking out Joshua Harris's website:

"When you realize that men have subjugated women for thousands of years, you can only wonder how it took so long for the feminist movement to form. It is unfortunately rare to find a marriage in which the husband recognizes that he bears the responsibility of headship and exercises it in humility and love rather than force and authoritarianism. While I too am against so much of what the feminist movement advocates, I understand why it has emerged. I believe that if Christian men had been the servant leaders in the home, rather than conceited chauvinists, the feminist movement would have died a quick and easy death. If men had sought ways to see the gifts and talents of their wives developed and utilized rather than taking a beautiful person and making her into little more than a personal slave, if men had not twisted this doctrine of headship, we would not have the current problems between men and women in our society....I am tired of hearing that feminists are responsible for the breakdown of the family. We need to put the responsibility where it belongs--on the heads of homes." --Richard Ganz, 20 Controversies That Almost Killed a Church

Challenging, right? I don't think any of us "conservatives" would disagree. While I, like Ganz, am not for most of the things feminism advocates, I understand the need for its existence. And I wish that need would go away.

"The fight to uphold a complementarian, or what I would call a biblical, view of gender doesn't start with attacking feminists," Josh rightly states. "It should begin with Christian men--single and married--heeding the call of scripture to be humble, masculine, self-sacrificing servant-leaders."

Ultimately, just as Christ is the head of the church, I recognize Wesley as the head of our marriage. Christ perfectly modeled servant leadership, did He not? He "humbled Himself... to the point of death, even death on a cross!" He works all things out "for the good of those who love Him." He leads the church in humble love.

In the same way, I'm so thankful for my husband, who models this type of servant leadership. I have no fear of submitting to him--in fact, I delight in it! He is humble and gentle. He loves me. I know he has my absolute best interest in mind at all times.

But as I'm writing that, honestly, I have to stop and confess that I'm not sure what "submitting to him" really even means. I'm not sure I could give an example. The give and take of our relationship is so natural. It's not like he makes every decision and I just nod my head in agreement. In fact, we often fight about who makes the final decision --"no, you pick," "no, you!" (We have that conversation frequently when deciding where to eat out!) Ultimately, we recognize our God-given roles and joyfully embrace them. That makes marriage a beautiful thing.

In fact, I highly recommend it. :)